"Funk 49"? "Rocky Mountain Way"?

[Cygnus X1]

Casey, I can't quote, it would be unrighteous!
I'm laughing so hard I'm starting to cramp!


I grew up into MX'ing, my dad was an Enduro creek rider, who never actually broke a bone doing it. His favorite toy was a Yammie 360, mine a Suzie RM 125. The 250 never really cut it for me in competition, but it was there for my use. I learned quick the way to survive was to be number 1, or get run over trying. I made it all of one season before Mom decided it was a lot safer for me to be taking my aggression out on guitars...I fell in love, Dad temporarily thought I was not destined to be a man, but all turned out cool.

[Cygnus X1]

El Double'
I don't like this format...

[CaseyJones]

Casey, I can't quote, it would be unrighteous!
I'm laughing so hard I'm starting to cramp!


I grew up into MX'ing, my dad was an Enduro creek rider, who never actually broke a bone doing it. His favorite toy was a Yammie 360, mine a Suzie RM 125. The 250 never really cut it for me in competition, but it was there for my use. I learned quick the way to survive was to be number 1, or get run over trying. I made it all of one season before Mom decided it was a lot safer for me to be taking my aggression out on guitars...I fell in love, Dad temporarily thought I was not destined to be a man, but all turned out cool.

I been ridin' just about since I could walk. Good thing, too... been times when I rode 'cuz I couldn't walk! I gave up dirt bikes for a while 'cuz playin' guitar wif broken fingers or a broken wrist don't work so good. I still ride trials every so often because it ain't high speed soil sampling like MX, more like low speed soil sampling. I can still solder wif broken fingers so all is cool.

Playin' guitar is a manly man's activity, don't let anyone tell ya otherwise! You can wear Spandex trousers, grow yer hair into long golden tresses like a gurl, play yer guitar and no one will ever question yer manhood.

Things that may change yer sexual orientation:

Too much public radio.

Drinkin' hazelnut flavored coffee.

Readin' the directions. Not manly, don't do it. If you do it don't let yer friends see ya doin' it!

[drhulsey]

... a "tramp stamp" is one o' those lower back bikini tattoos...

Tattoo or not, ain't that part of a girl's back just the cutest thing you've ever seen

... I'm thinkin' more like a flat track style steel shoe,

I though you only wore one of those on the left foot

... I been ridin' just about since I could walk...

I've spent a lot of time with bikers. Mostly in the emergency room after midnight, tryin' to sew their ears and other vital parts of their anatomy back on the rest of their body I could watch Paulie Teutel build 'em all day long, but I just can't bring myself to strap one on It's not that I'm scared of gettin' hurt, but I don't want to leave it up to some putz in a van to decide where I leave my body parts

[CaseyJones]

... a "tramp stamp" is one o' those lower back bikini tattoos...

Tattoo or not, ain't that part of a girl's back just the cutest thing you've ever seen

Tell ya what , Doc... (Doc "Frankenstein" Hulsey ) you stitch together the perfect broad and I'll weld together the bitchin' scooters. I hear you do good work. I'm here to tell ya, it depends on the girl...

... I'm thinkin' more like a flat track style steel shoe,

I thought you only wore one of those on the left foot

Yeah but... on ramps go the other way. That's fine with me, I can operate the brake with a steel shoe. My shifter is on the usual flat track steel shoe side. Yeah I can move it to either side but I'm used to it on the left.

... I been ridin' just about since I could walk...

I've spent a lot of time with bikers. Mostly in the emergency room after midnight, tryin' to sew their ears and other vital parts of their anatomy back on the rest of their body I could watch Paulie Teutel build 'em all day long, but I just can't bring myself to strap one on It's not that I'm scared of gettin' hurt, but I don't want to leave it up to some putz in a van to decide where I leave my body parts

You're preachin' to the choir. The old sayin' is there are two types of bikers, those who been down and those who are gonna go down. No exceptions! I still got all my body parts and knock wood they mostly work o.k.. I got two buddies who lost one right arm each to bike accidents. I got one babe who lost one leg to a bike accident. The reality of it is indeed pretty savage, that's why the hardcore guys have skulls and bones all over their rides.

Sorry Paulie but you're a freakin' joke! Go easy on the steroids and start treatin' yer boys with the respect they deserve. That hard-ass B.S. is indeed Old School. When I see you build a bike that actually exhibits outstanding function under real world conditions you've earned my respect. I'm not gonna hold my breath.

[drhulsey]

... I'm here to tell ya, it depends on the girl...

Yeah, it don't count if their back's wider than mine

... I got two buddies who lost one right arm each to bike accidents...

Last year, four of my friends were on a weekend road trip. A lady driving an on-coming S10 sized pickup reached down to the floorboard to pick up something and veered into their lane. The first guy in line was unhurt, the second got his left leg ripped off and almost died, and the last two caught it head on. She wiped them all over the highway One of the fatalities was the owner of the local Harley dealership. All were respected members of the community.

But hey Life's a dangerous business and a terminal condition You can get electrocuted stickin' your fingers in an amp. You can get hit crossin' the street or the old ticker can just quit (the ideal way to go) Pick your poison Rest assured if I go tonight, I'll go with a smile on my face and an Express clone in the den

[CaseyJones]

Last year, four of my friends were on a weekend road trip. A lady driving an on-coming S10 sized pickup reached down to the floorboard to pick up something and veered into their lane. The first guy in line was unhurt, the second got his left leg ripped off and almost died, and the last two caught it head on. She wiped them all over the highway One of the fatalities was the owner of the local Harley dealership. All were respected members of the community.

Oh yeah, my fave... bike accident horror stories!

The way I figure it you need to take care of three major categories and that will keep ya outta 99% of the trouble. They are:

1) Don't beat yourself. That means select a machine with reasonable chassis geometry and the best brakes you can find. Those 150 mph + sportbikes ain't all about doin' 150+, they have brakes that will stand the bike on the front wheel. You want that. You need that. Then don't be a dumb-ass, keep the bike in top condition and don't leave yer thinkin' cap at home on the dresser.

Yer brain is the best instrument you have so take good care of it. Don't soak it in beer then hit the road. If you have a $20.00 brain wear a $20.00 helmet. What's that say about no helmet at all?!

2) The next deadliest thing on the road is the little old lady in the big American car. She'll kill ya without tryin', she'll kill ya without lookin', hell, she can kill ya wif 'er eyes closed 'cuz even wif 'em wide open she don't see ya at all! Yer best defense: If she don't see you you better see her. Ride like everything with four wheels is tryin' to kill ya. Read number 3, some of 'em are!

Yer next best defense here is Shock and Awe. "Loud Pipes Save Lives!" If yer pipes are so goddam loud every corpse between here and Seattle sits straight up in their graves it's a fair bet that Grandma will hear ya even if she don't see ya. Don't bet yer life on it though, it's not a sure thing.

3) Which brings us to the asshole with the souped up pickup truck who really is tryin' to kill ya! I've run across jerks drivin' around wif a head full o' road rage who take deep offense to motorcycles on "their" road. There's only one thing to do here and that's ride like yer life depends on it 'cuz it does. You don't want to be a soft shell critter on a bike in an argument wif a hard shell critter on four wheels, it's not an argument you stand a reasonable chance o' winnin'. Put as much distance between you and him as you can. This is where dirt bike experience comes in handy, I've opened up a gap, grabbed a ton o' brake and ducked behind a handy guardrail. You better have a plan once you get there 'cuz you're a sittin' duck at that point. No worries, been there, done that, got a plan but that's a different topic for another time.

Depending on yer skill level that takes care of 90% to 99% of what can kill ya on a bike. Don't get cocky now, that still means that one ride outta 100 at best is gonna be a death trip. Sometimes that's what it's all about, today's the day you beat The Reaper. Toss two decks of cards in a pile and pick a card. Do ya feel lucky, punk?! Do ya?!!

[drhulsey]

... "Loud Pipes Save Lives!" If yer pipes are so goddam loud every corpse between here and Seattle sits straight up in their graves it's a fair bet that Grandma will hear ya even if she don't see ya...

Bike or no bike, I gotta get me some o' them PIPES

[Abstract]

El Double'
I don't like this format...

If you get an error on "submit"...hit back, and copy your post. Then CLOSE the browser and reopen fresh. If your post isn't there, paste in fast reply. Usually it's there...hence the doubles.

It's a little more work but it's a surefire way to handle these errors.

[CaseyJones]

... "Loud Pipes Save Lives!" If yer pipes are so goddam loud every corpse between here and Seattle sits straight up in their graves it's a fair bet that Grandma will hear ya even if she don't see ya...

Bike or no bike, I gotta get me some o' them PIPES

Yeah, Doc... now we're back on topic!

Not that I'm a big Van Halen fan but the Alex Van Halen drum intro on "Hot for Teacher" sounds like a hot rodded engine with a lumpy cam. That's my yardstick for tone, if I can build something that sounds like a tuned motor at full song then I've nailed "that tone I hear in my head". It grabs me the same way it grabbed me (by the nutz!) decades ago the first time I stood in front of a cranked stack. Loud pipes = cranked amp, for me there's very little difference.

You could probably save a few bucks on a defibrillator and take care of two jobs with one machine. Treat yerself to one o' those California bikes w/ a 113" stroker w/ no baffles, just kick that sucker over to jolt yer crash case back to rhythm. Hell, load it into the elevator and bring it down to the morgue... you know you got a good one when those people sit up and take notice!

Then take it up the coast on weekends. Wanna play it safe? Ride wif around a hundred of yer buds, take up a position in the middle of the pack. That way if Grandma wants a piece o' you she'll have to wade through four dozen of yer homies to get it!

[Structo]

Man, I love readin' your posts Casey!
In my youth I used to ride.
The one thing I always tried to remember was that, the car that just pulled up to the stop sign at a cross street doesn't see you, doesn't want to see you and is going to pull out right in front of you.
Saved my bacon many times.

The time it didn't is when a drunk pulled out in front of me one rainy night.
I was the only thing coming down the street and had my brights on.
I couldn't believe it when this guy pulled out slowly right in front of me.
I only had a second to react and laid down the scooter, bounced off the rear bumper, over to the curb where I hit my tail bone on the curb.
The car stopped and my head light was aimed up into their rear window.
I could see the guy driving and the girl in the passenger seat looking back at me.
He kind of shrugged and then took off.
I'll never forget the look on their faces, like whoops, see ya.

I couldn't feel my legs for about 15 minutes because of the shock to my lower back, which I though was broke.
So there I lay, thinking about my life in a wheel chair ahead of me.
Soon though the feelings came back and I thanked my maker for not leaving me paralyzed.

Don't get me wrong, I had been down several times before, usually because of my own foolishness.
But, this time was different, I didn't have any chance of avoiding it and made the 25 year old in me realize I was no longer invincible.

I sold the bike soon after and haven't ridden since.

[drhulsey]

... the same way it grabbed me (by the nutz!) decades ago the first time I stood in front of a cranked stack. Loud pipes = cranked amp, for me there's very little difference.

I was actually thinkin' about how similar it would be to a Marshall stack when I said that

Ride wif around a hundred of yer buds, take up a position in the middle of the pack...

You must be younger than I am. Guys my age wanna be "Leader of the Pack" Bring it on, Grandma

[CaseyJones]

Ride wif around a hundred of yer buds, take up a position in the middle of the pack...

You must be younger than I am. Guys my age wanna be "Leader of the Pack" Bring it on, Grandma

Yeah, but... age and deceit beats youth and enthusiasm hands down every time. It's like The Turtle and the Hare or more like...

Old Bull and his son, Bull Calf 'r' standin' on top o' the hill, picture it... green grass, blue sky, herd o' cows grazin' down by the creek. If you can't picture it buy a coffee table book of Maxfield Parrish illustrations...

Enny-who... Bull Calf sez to 'iz dad Old Bull, "Hey, dad, hey dad... lets' run down the hill and breed on o' those heifers!"

Old Bull turns 'iz head slowly, looks at 'iz son, chews his cud a moment and sez, "Son... let's walk down the hill and breed all of 'em!!"

I'm gonna write me a book. Writin' it is no problem, sellin' it might be. Wish me luck!

Man, I love readin' your posts Casey!

Gee, thanks! I guess I do o.k. when I'm not pissed off over The Current State of Affairs.

In my youth I used to ride.

And lived to tell about it thank God.

The one thing I always tried to remember was that, the car that just pulled up to the stop sign at a cross street doesn't see you, doesn't want to see you and is going to pull out right in front of you.
Saved my bacon many times.

The time it didn't is when a drunk pulled out in front of me one rainy night.
I was the only thing coming down the street and had my brights on.
I couldn't believe it when this guy pulled out slowly right in front of me.
I only had a second to react and laid down the scooter, bounced off the rear bumper, over to the curb where I hit my tail bone on the curb.
The car stopped and my head light was aimed up into their rear window.
I could see the guy driving and the girl in the passenger seat looking back at me.
He kind of shrugged and then took off.
I'll never forget the look on their faces, like whoops, see ya.

I couldn't feel my legs for about 15 minutes because of the shock to my lower back, which I though was broke.
So there I lay, thinking about my life in a wheel chair ahead of me.
Soon though the feelings came back and I thanked my maker for not leaving me paralyzed.

Don't get me wrong, I had been down several times before, usually because of my own foolishness.
But, this time was different, I didn't have any chance of avoiding it and made the 25 year old in me realize I was no longer invincible.

Yeah, I hate to tell ya but that's just about the Standard Issue "Sorry... I didn't see you!" It doesn't matter why they didn't see you, the end result is usually the same. Either you wake up in the hospital missin' a couple body parts, you don't wake up at all or you learn about your mortality and move on. Actually that's three possible results not just one but there are very few choices in between.

All my buddies give the same stern salutation when we part, "Ride safe!" Me, I'm in show biz... I say, "Ride fast and take ridiculous chances!" Translation: "Break a leg", that's what the theatrical types say.

I sold the bike soon after and haven't ridden since.

At a certain point it comes down to a choice... have your skills in risk management evolved to the point where it's worth it? Me, I still ride like a dumb-ass and my reflexes aren't what they used to be. What saves my bacon again and again is my Carefully Calibrated Ass. My ass has a direct line to my brain bypassing the delays involved in conscious thought, when the bike starts to slide my ass knows about it before I do. When some jerk cuts me off my ass knows about it before I do. I figure that's because I've been ridin' since I wuz a little kid. My parents didn't want me to ride because "Everyone we know who rides has been hurt doin' it". Well, dammit I sound just like my parents 'cuz sure enough by now everyone I know who rides has been hurt doin' it. I got a few lumps and bumps, only one broken bone (shattered thumb) so I guess I did o.k..

My generation... a few of 'em will drink 'emsleves to death, more of 'em will smoke 'emsleves to death, some of 'em will ride 'emselves to death. I'm not sayin' it's purely a good thing 'cuz it ain't, still, when I'm out in the wind there's nuthin' else like it, not booze, not sex, not drugs, not anything.

[drhulsey]

when I'm out in the wind there's nuthin' else like it...

When you're out there, you're like the hot dog ordered by the Buddhist monk–ONE WITH EVERYTHING