Annivesaries

[gahult]

MEN DO REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES?
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. 'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. 'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'
'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'
'I remember that too' she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...'I would have been released today.

[Reeltarded]

Oh.

Yes.

[Structo]

This is an old one that I still chuckle at when I read it.


Dear Abby,

I think my wife is cheating on me. I am a working musician and, as you would expect, travel a lot.
I have been noticing strange things happening when I get home.
Her cell phone rings and she steps outside to answer it or she says, "I'll call you back later".
When I ask her who called, she gets evasive. Sometimes she goes out with friends but comes home late,
getting dropped off around the corner and walking the rest of the way.
I once picked up the extension while she was on the phone and she got very angry.

A buddy of mine, who is also a guitar player, told me that my wife and some guy have been to his gigs.
He wanted to borrow my guitar amp.
That's when I got the idea to find out for myself what was really happening.

I said "Sure, you can use my amp but I want to hide behind it at the gig and see if she shows up, and who she shows up with."

He agreed.
Saturday night came and I slipped behind my Marshall JCM800 half stack to get a good view.
I could feel the heat coming off the back of the amp. It was at that moment, crouching down behind the amp,
that I noticed that one of the tubes was not glowing as bright as the other three.
Is this something I can fix myself or do I need to take it to a technician?

Thanks,
Very Concerned

[Teleguy61]

Double rim shot!!