My dog toaster was attacked by a raccoon

[vibratoking]

I had a pet racoon. He was a GREAT pet. He'd sleep in the crook of a tree during the day...come down and take a few laps around the pool. Come over for some pets. I trained him to sit on my shoulder. I took him almost everywhere with me. Great times riding my bike with my coon on my shoulder. Very very smart. Gentle most of the time. A nasty fucking meat grinder when pissed off.

He picks up a coon and throws it on a moments notice and gets it on video from two different angles? Yeah right. And the coon didn't turn him into hamburger? IMO, he wouldn't have been able to let go. That coon would have been stuck to him like glue. I don't believe any of it even thought that coon is very small. Probably only 3 to 6 month old. That dog would have been dead by the time he got to the bottom of the stairs IMO, certainly if the coon was mature. And the dog certainly would have had way more than a few bite marks and scratches. I witnessed my racoon kill several cats...he had a thing for cats...it took no more than 10 secs in every case.

[Reeltarded]

Yeah. A coon is a tasmanian devil in a mask... the cartoon kind.

[Leo_Gnardo]

I witnessed my racoon kill several cats...he had a thing for cats...it took no more than 10 secs in every case.

Racoons and cats around here must have signed a mutual non-aggression treaty. Plenty of both. My neighbors cats camp out all night in spring summer & fall, stay fat n happy with nary a problem. Wish the cats would get up enough gumption to chase the groundhogs though.

So Miles how's Toaster doing? I think he needs some pals, call 'em Microwave, Blender and Coffeepot.

[Reeltarded]

Calling an animal coffeepot is not something I could bear. Little fella would be dripped dry. Yum. Here, coffeepot!! Uncky Miles has some cream for you...

[Leo_Gnardo]

Calling an animal coffeepot is not something I could bear.

The animals don't care what you call 'em, as long as you feed 'em and scratch'em atop the head. Hard to insult a dog or cat. Hey Stunod, here's your food bowl! Num num gobble halb halb - look up - "gimme a biscuit daddy." OK here ya go. EZ-to-please.

[Zippy]

Calling an animal coffeepot is not something I could bear.

The animals don't care what you call 'em...

I dunno. There was a raccoon in my yard last night. I called him "Miles" and he ran away looking pretty pissed off.

[vibratoking]

...Uncky Miles has some cream for you...

Miles, you should be more careful about how you word things. That could totally be taken the wrong way.

[Reeltarded]

lol at ya'll all.. EXCEPT LEO YOU SOB STOP POSTING POCKET DOGS BEFORE I END UP WITH AN ANCHOR THAT LICKS EVERYTHING..

cute little bastards i want a lil bulldog

[Leo_Gnardo]

lol at ya'll all.. EXCEPT LEO YOU SOB STOP POSTING POCKET DOGS BEFORE I END UP WITH AN ANCHOR THAT LICKS EVERYTHING.

(evil cackle heh heh heh . . .)

That's Coffeepot waiting for you to fix him up proper-like. Got a taste for cognac along with that cream - just a wee dab.

Met a dog and called him a SOB. He nodded and said "you got that right!"

Now hows about some lunch. Got any grey poupon?

[Zippy]

Calling an animal coffeepot is not something I could bear.

The animals don't care what you call 'em...

I dunno. There was a raccoon in my yard last night. I called him "Miles" and he ran away looking pretty pissed off.

I should've known better than to do that. Last night, "Miles" came back with three lil' buddies and climbed on top of the car port to relax, eat some juniper berries, and crap on my roof. When I started rattling around to shoo them away, "Miles" just turned and glared at me as his friends started to walk away on along the top of the coyote fence. I'll try to get some photos of "Miles" and his posse this evening if they return.

Gotta say, they are cute lil' guys. Maybe I should've just offered them a beer.

[Reeltarded]

Now hows about some lunch. Got any grey poupon?

I hope you like vet bills, you evil unrested soul.

I am not sure about a wild animal named after me. It's mostly been the other way around in my life. If I bring friends, probably not me anyhow. Call him Kyle. Never know what might ride in with him.

[Leo_Gnardo]

Last night, "Miles" came back with three lil' buddies and climbed on top of the car port to relax, eat some juniper berries, and crap on my roof. When I started rattling around to shoo them away, "Miles" just turned and glared at me as his friends started to walk away on along the top of the coyote fence. I'll try to get some photos of "Miles" and his posse this evening if they return.

Gotta say, they are cute lil' guys. Maybe I should've just offered them a beer.

You need a raccoon concert. They do "sing", hoot howl chatter and make the most unexpected noises when they're inspired. They like juniper berries, offer 'em some gin. Put 'em in a party mood.

Might consider renaming the big raccoon Millie, she's probably the mother of the other 3. The father is probably nose down on the floor in some gin mill ignoring the family as usual.

Raccoons DO like peanuts. If I leave the groundhog traps open, raccoons will find their way in shortly after dark. Gotta remember to close 'em on time or else. And sometimes those trapped raccoons don't want to leave. Go figure.

[amplifiednation]

Oh man I don't know what's funnier. "Toaster" or the flying Racoon.

I would have a minor panic attack if my dog Toaster got away and I had to call for him all over the neighborhood. "Toooooaaaaassssttter!"

[Firestorm]

When my dog bursts through the zappy fence, I don't even have to call him. In awhile, he'll be back at the top of the driveway barking. You walk up so he can laugh at you and run away. Second time, too. Then he'll come in. Damn fur people.

[Reeltarded]

I lock the door and turn all the lights off.

Damned dog.