Evil Amp Wizard Do's and Don'ts

[BTF]

Don't forget to include an arcane agreement (requiring notarization) with your amp stating that- even though the person is purchasing the amp- you will be the sole arbiter of any subsequent repairs and transactions involving the amp. Include copies which- should you decide to allow a purchase- the subsequent owners must sign, notarize and return to you.

[VacuumVoodoo]

Unless it's written on NOS Egyptian papyrus and signed in blood for easy DNA ID it'll be useless in any legal dispute.

[BTF]

Oh, the Evil Amp Genius cares not for legitimization, but only for reputation and intimidation!

[VacuumVoodoo]

HE cares not, but what about his guitar string molesting shyster neighbor?

[mhartman]

Build your boards upside down even though you'll end up driving yourself crazy when it comes time to repair.

Use all crazy top secret, NOS, military 7 band resistors.

Encase your boards in carbonite.

[MCK]

Gut some caps and hide your resistors in there making them look like caps. Build your amp with those cap impersonating resistors.

Implement a "No amp for you!" policy for every 6th order that comes in.

[VacuumVoodoo]

Implement a "No amp for you!" policy for every 6th order that comes in.

When asked which class my amps are I answered:
A: NED1 class!
Q: ?? ..and it stands for..??
A: Not Everybody Deserves One!
Q: It's joke, right?
A: [img100]http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c149/ ... a/0029.gif[/img]

[darryl_h]

How about a handful of ineffective trimpots. For example 1k trimpots in series with 1meg grid resistors, or 100 ohm trimpots in series with 100k plate resistors. Put a dab of lacquer or nail polish on each to fix it in its "factory set" position. Let it be known that only factory-trained technicians know how to tweak the trimmers for maximum mojo.

[Blackburn]

I personally would install one of these in there with the wires affixed to the underside of the board with no way of removing them.

Might be a bit of a squeeze!

[LeftyStrat]

Add fake wires that are just insulation with only leads stuffed into the end.

Making this connection with real wire will fry PT, OPT, or hopefully both.

John

Pure evil. I love it.

[LeftyStrat]

Another one I thought of is hiding a relay and some components under the board, so that when the power to the amp is off, it connects caps and resistors in parallel with ones on top of the board.

You scratch off the markings on the parts on top of the board, and when they measure them they'll all be wrong values.

[amplifiednation]

I'm just gonna mount my chassis using those security screws that only turn one way.

[selloutrr]

No mention of an extra tube that does nothing? Or better yet a bunch of components mounted sandwiched between two boards so you can't see any of it. With rivets so they have to be drilled out to meter . From a repair standpoint you just put in a new board.

Alcohol wipe the silk screen from all tubes and wire them/ use less traditional tubes.

[sepulchre]

Man, I haven't laughed this hard in some time! You guys really Are evil geniuses!

[ER]

I really want one of these evil genius amps.

All these technical details are confusing... could somebody just post the layout?