I need prayers and support

[passfan]

Big setback today. I am sorry to report that the scans have revealed it is everywhere. They scanned from his chin to his bladder. They will do an MRI today to see if it is in his brain. I will keep my chin up for my brother

[Reeltarded]

That sounds like a mess. What do they do now?

All chins up.

[MGW]

So sorry to hear that. Praying for a miracle for you guys.

[passfan]

They are talking about quality of life and not quantity. I wished for a happy outcome but I'm afraid we'll all be let down. It does not look good. I am thankful for the love and support from the forum.

[xtian]

Very sad news. Thanks for sharing with us. Thinking good thoughts.

[LeftyStrat]

So sorry to hear. My thoughts and prayers.

[vibratoking]

They are talking about quality of life and not quantity.

I am very sorry to hear that news. As I said, I went through this with my brother. Some of our family made sure to say everything we had to say before he passed. Others did not. Communication is big. Don't avoid subjects and make sure you communicate everything that you find important. It's time to connect on all levels if you haven't already.

I also wanted to say that, based on quite few experiences, fancy procedures to buy time often lead to ventilators and very hard decisions.

Best wishes and prayers to you and your family.

[passfan]

Thanks guys. His biggest concern is to be able to eat foods through his mouth and not a tube through his side. Other than that I haven't been up yet today so I dont know. They have put a pic line in which is a big IV for chemo injections , so I will find out more later.

[Bob S]

Also very sorry to hear this.
A prayer for the best possible outcome.
For all of your family.

[dreric]

They are talking about quality of life and not quantity. I wished for a happy outcome but I'm afraid we'll all be let down. It does not look good. I am thankful for the love and support from the forum.

I'm very sorry to hear of your challenges. Prayers for you, your brother and your family.

I know a few things about healing and working with the ill, please consider the following and "take what you like".

The most important person for you to take care of is you. Focus on the basics of self care. Get enough sleep, eat well, exercise start a conversation with whatever you look to inside for guidance, ask for help. Have your feelings and be kind to yourself. The best thing you can be for your brother is present and you can't be present without taking care of yourself first.

In my work I have found the Kubler-Ross model to be invaluable in understanding what your family may go through.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model

Understand and accept that regardless of the outcome, you are in for a gruesome ride. Cancer treatment is barbaric. Get yourself into a support group ASAP (they will most likely have one at the hospital).

People with illness need one thing first before they can trust and let you close enough to support them.

They need empathy, they do not need sympathy.

When empathy speaks it says: I see you, I know you are in pain, I love you, I am here with you, I am not leaving and how can I best serve you. Empathy is spoken with your heart and hands.

When sympathy speaks it tries to control, cheer up, encourage and help without asking what is needed or wanted. Sympathy is the projection of our fears onto the ill and it places our needs on the ill. Sympathy is spoken with words.

Try and remember that there are things that happen in this lifetime that cannot be reconciled while we are within this lifetime. There is only one place to go.

Peace

[Colossal]

Hard news Passfan, very sad to hear Wise words from others here. Don't neglect yourself and take care.

[tribi9]

Sorry to hear too. My thoughts go out to you and your relatives.

[Structo]

Man, so sorry for the bad news.

I know chemo treatment is a very hard road.

Do they give you any hope of treatment working?

I went through something similar with my wife and her thyroid cancer.

Even though her doc is encouraging, we are still not out of the woods.

Good thoughts and prayers for you, your brother and your family.

I pray something helpful can be done.

[Teleguy61]

+1 on dreric's advice.
Take care of the caregiver.
This is very hard news for you and your brother.
I am so sorry.
I am thinking of you and your brother.
Peace.

[mark enger]

Passfan sorry to hear this, stay positive, you and yours will be in our prayer