Singer Rant

[Gibsonman63]

Singing for four hours straight is a hard thing to do; in fact I find it harder than playing guitar. I gave up many years ago on having a full time lead singer due to various exhibitions of LSD, (Lead Singer Disease) The idea of a guest singer singing two or three songs to give my voice a rest or cover a song out of my range seems an appealing idea on the surface.

Enter singer...

Scenario 1 - Chemically Unbalanced Prima Donna Singer

This person may or may not show up. They have years of band experience, but can’t seem to find a band because no one will work with them any more. When they do show up they are obviously pre-lubricated, but insist that imbibing further is necessary before they can perform. Once they start to perform, they “dance” in a way the makes Joe Cocker look like Roy Orbison. This person is oblivious to the rest of the band and forgets that Jimmy Page was known to occasionally put a guitar solo in some songs. They know the words to about half a verse and most of the chorus, so they just make up the words or re-use the words until they have at least seven verses. You and the band have to create spontaneous, abrupt endings to songs to keep them under ten minutes, because the singer completely ignores the endings of the songs unless you completely stop. Between songs they go into a rant about how much they hate the cops.

Scenario 2 – The Karaoke Convert

This person will actually show up...early and insist on talking to you the entire time you are setting up your gear. You are setting up your gear, so you can’t get away from them. You talked to them the week before between sets and they told you how well they can sing. Their significant other beams in approval of this singer’s talent and swears that they will bring a bunch of people to hear this person sing a couple of songs. You agree on two or three songs that everyone is comfortable with. The next week, your Karaoke Convert shows up with their significant other, their much older sister and a couple of the much older sister’s church friends. All are dressed for a Sunday afternoon church outing. They take a table up front. They don’t drink. They request songs that you considered old and lame when you were in grade school. You decide to have this person sing during the first set in hopes that they will leave soon after. This person is never ready to sing during the first set for various reasons. They follow you around and talk to you during your entire break between the first and second set. You make it clear that they are going on after the third song. After the third song, this person cannot be found. You see them appear after two more songs and call them to the stage and introduce them. They stop at their table to pick up their lyrics, or lately their iPhone and reading glasses. This person has no idea of how to synchronize lyrics and music without the words scrolling on a screen in front of them. This person has no idea how to work a microphone. This person is too nervous to sing in pitch. The people they brought applaud emphatically. They are the only people in the bar applauding.

Scenario 3 – New Found Talent

This is one of the regulars at the bar who knows all of the other regulars. After seeing your last two guest “singers” and having a half a dozen shots and a couple of buckets of beer, they have decided that they can be a lead singer. The bar cheers wildly as they approach the stage. This person starts with a five minute soliloquy. The bar cheers wildly. They insist on singing a song that no one in the band knows and announce it. The bar cheers wildly. You and the band fake your way through that song. Your singer sings off key, out of time and makes up most of the lyrics. The bar cheers wildly and you keep a strong crowd all the way to closing. You invite this singer to sit in on a couple of songs in the last set when you come back next month. You learn the song the singer insisted on singing. When you come back, you are now best buds with your “singer” and they harass you during the entire gig. They drink even more than last month and become belligerent and obnoxious and scare away most of the people you brought before getting ejected from the bar. The rest of the regulars promptly leave and they all go to another bar together. The band now outnumbers the audience.

Now when I need to rest my voice, we play instrumentals.

[selloutrr]

I feel your pain. Might I suggest you take regular vocal lessons to help improve your breathing technique and stamina. It makes a world of difference. after that it's all about habits and what you put in your body. stay hydrated. the only thing harder to find then a singer you can tour with and not leave at a truck stop. Is a drummer that keeps time and the same energy level they start the song with.

[M Fowler]

I squirt honey down my throat before and during the gig, it really helps

I scarred my vocal cords quite a few years ago even had to go through special ENT and voice training just to keep my voice to talk. It was rough being on no talking orders for months. Think hoarce, whisper with hurting strain for years. I over came that so anything is possible.

The only thing is I sound like Elmer Fudd now

If you feel a strain then its time to use the honey.

Mark

[Structo]

Yeah, I never did enjoy singing that much and when I did it was only out of necessity.

I do however get a kick out of the prima donna singers and front men that think they are all that and more.

[Gibsonman63]

I ended up singing by default because I can remember the lyrics. It's much easier than it was 25 years ago, but sometimes I get over excited or get asked to sing a little out of my range and strain my voice. I am usually ok again after ten or fifteen minutes of rest.

Honey definitly helps. While you are at it, use local honey and you get the benefit of building up resistance to pollen related allergies. I also try to stay away from dairy on days I am going to sing.

Hydration helps. Staying fit helps. In the city, you can't smoke inside the bars anymore and that helps a lot. Good monitors and a good sound man help a lot as well. Picking the right song helps the most.

[M Fowler]

When I drank like a fish I swore whiskey helped too

[selloutrr]

When I drank like a fish I swore whiskey helped too

When I was a pot head I thought the same thing

[Andy Le Blanc]

spend time with an acoustic about three feet off a wall and practice, loudly.. a lot.
pick out a couple good warm up tunes for your gigs...

finding a good singer is just as bad as any other instrument, if its just bar gigs
dont worry about it... if your actually gonna pay the smuck to sing, look for
someone you feel less inclined to describe as a smuck

[crbowman]

When I drank like a fish I swore whiskey helped too

When I was a pot head I thought the same thing

Quitters!!

[boldaslove6789]

LOL yeah I had a Broadway singer to give me lessons and it changed my whole concept of singing, too bad he spent more time talking than singing and burned up my 45 min (@ $25 a lessons,once a week it adds up for a month of lessons) Overall it was totally worth it and I needed more confidence than I did lessons. Singing a whole gig was the worst and greatest thing I ever did (Worst because I am expected to sing the whole night) When I play Hendrix tunes I take long solo's to relax my voice. Nothin says 10 min song like the Band of Gypsies "Machine gun"

[M Fowler]

Singers aren't any problem its those darn bass players I have to take care of in every band I'm in, real pain in the arse.

[vibratoking]

Singing for four hours straight is a hard thing to do; in fact I find it harder than playing guitar. I gave up many years ago on having a full time lead singer due to various exhibitions of LSD, (Lead Singer Disease)

I couldn't agree more. Singing certainly requires more effort than playing guitar. I do all the singing in my band. I know better than to think about bringing in a singer. The biggest benefits are that I love to sing and that I am in complete control over the material that we perform. I find that I have to eat well (alot) the day of a gig to feel good the whole night. I mean ALOT. I also have the bartender fill me a large pitcher of water with NO ice. Cold drinks kill vocal chords. I drink two or three of those during a four hour set. I never have problems with strain or range. If you are straining, you have to learn to use your diaghram to relieve the strain. If you can't do the song without straining, get rid of it. You won't enjoy it and neither will the audience. I also find that changing the key of a song that causes me to strain will not solve the problem! Changing the key only works for me if there are brief moments within the song that I have to 'work' for. There are some great vocal CD training courses out there. I use one by Roger Love - 'Set Your Voice Free'. Works wonders for me. Pop it in the car CD player and go for it. I spend enough time driving that I can get all of my vocal training done while in the car.

[Buschman]

I tend to think warm Tequila with lime helps Seriously when I come home from a 3 piece gig which I front, I am worn out. I'm not so young anymore. Things that help(besides Tequila) are loud monitors, Sing easy, Play in a key that you don't have to strain or sing hard for, warm up a bit, drink warm things-cold beer just tightens up the vocal chords-think MERLOT, and pace yourself. Also learn In Memory of Elizabeth Reed and Riviera Paradise.

[Gibsonman63]

I am doing the three-piece thing too. Fewer opinions and everything moves faster.

I need to add Rivera Paradice and Lenny to my to do list. "In Memory of Elizabeth Reed" is a great song. We have been doing it a while now. Our other strong instrumental is "Cause We've Ended as Lovers".

The other instrumentals I need to finish learning are Europa and the Freeway Jam.

[JamesHealey]

This is why i started playing instrumental jazz lol